Urns
Budget Funerals
For The Impoverished or Generally Tight-fisted
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BUDGET URNS

Tenpasenta
Just because you are so broke or tight fisted to have chosen a Budget Funeral for your loved one doesn't mean that you can't have a beautiful urn for your loved ones cremated remains.
Our budget urns come in a wide variety of styles and sizes, and will grace the shelf of even the most broken down garden shed, drab living room shelf or loft.
Unlike the very expensive Premium Funeral urns which are perfect replicas of everyday objects, these actually are everyday objects which will have been used by us prior to being sold to you.
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The Treat £30 The Kentucky £50* The Hero £45
binbag tin Teapot
The Liner £30 The Woks Up £50 The Typhoo £55
Scot Happy-Meal tub
The Tramp £50 The Happy Box £30* The Tub £30

*Comes with your own choice of chilled drink and fries.
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PERSONAL PRESENTATIONS

Tenpasenta
For only £70 you can have a special presentation of your loved ones remains*. You will receive a pair of A4 photos (printed in grayscale), these will be sent to you on receipt of a postage paid self addressed envelope.
For an additional £80 you can have your prints autographed by the whole funeral team, even Mark the vicar will add a best wishes message on the back for only £50.
This unique service is brought to you by Tenpasenta Church Budget Funerals, we lead, others rarely follow.

*We have so much ash left over from our pyres or just uncollected by uncaring relatives that you can now be presented with your own ashes before you die, an ideal way to see how good you will look in the urn of your choice, you could even take photos with yourself.
Presentation
R.I.P.
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URN HIRE

Tenpasenta
Ash box rental service. No need to buy one of our stylish budget urns just to tip out the contents at some beauty spot or other, this is a great money saving alternative
This attractive container is ideal for carrying then spreading the dearly departed ones ashes).
This is also a great form of recycling, so if your family is that way inclined they'll be glad to hear that these urns can be used up to 50 times, or maybe more if we went to the expense of using a plastic bag to put the ashes in first.
We cannot guarantee that you will be one of the first renters, so it may look a little knackered compared to our illustration, but the price remains the same at:

£18 for three days, £20 refundable deposit.
Rent an Urn
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Shit Happens
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NEW BUDGET COLUMBARIUM

Tenpasenta
Budget columbarium Budget funerals is pleased to announce that our new Budget columbarium is now open! new Prices start at only £500, renewable after 5 years!
The columbarium allows the bereaved to keep their loved ones ashes safe and secure in the beautiful surroundings of the Tenpasenta crematorium, there is enough space in these niches for not only 2 full sized standard urns but two pairs of shoes and other clothing items belonging to the deceased, if you opted for our £1600 16 year plan imagine the excitement your next generation of loved ones as they come to empty the niche because they are not prepared to continue payments, and finding a time capsule of bygone items to reminisce over before taking them to the dump.
Price includes 2 keys connected an overly large safety pin.
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Disclaimer: All products and services promoted on this site are fictional, and once purchased are non-refundable..