|Unloved, unwanted, or just unknown?
The Government will pay us good money to get rid of the unwanted dead, and we proud to take on that task.
If you would like to take advantage of this Free to user option you will need to get rid of all your money and belongings before you die, we offer advice on how you can do this in person at Brian’s charity shop or Tenpasenta charity donations department, or Donate Now! and we can arrange to come to your house with a Luton van and official-looking documents to empty both it and your bank accounts, we recommend that you live like this for at least 3 years before death as it helps to save us a lot of paperwork with the tax man.
State paid funerals do however come with our compulsory luxury class bargain hearse at no extra cost, which is nice.
Be sure to tell friends and relatives that you want your impoverished body sent to The Tenpasenta Church Budget funerals, it may be an advantage to have your body left for several weeks rotting away as this should speed up the actual free cremation service.
If you would like any possessions or cash passed on to any relatives you do actually like, we charge 10% commission plus 10% handling.
Take a look at our professionally produced promotional video above, you know you're in good hands.